I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize