you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
