I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize