I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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