The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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