so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
