Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
