Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize