he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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