Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
