i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
