found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
