You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
