I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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