Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
