Moan for me like Helen Keller
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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