People with herpes should wear stickers.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
