Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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