bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize