He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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