R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
