I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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