Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
