I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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