White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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