yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
