Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
FUCK WHALES
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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