Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
