I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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