once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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