I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
