What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
