so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize