Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
