just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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