Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
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Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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