I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
do herpes really smell.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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