There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
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Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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