Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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