I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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