I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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