i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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