It's Friday. Sex?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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