i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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