you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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