if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
