Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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