I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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