You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
