so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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