We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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