if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
