i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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