Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
